Pride vs. Humility

Someone said this to me the other day, "If you just give up and listen to me, I would be the best person to you".  I hope that you see the issue I have with this statement, if you don't, than I certainly hope you would feel differently by the end of this blog.

This line in of itself is the primary issue I have in this specific relationship.  I don't want to embarrass or barrage anyone with details, but this person who said this to me, was and to an extent is very important to me. And for this person to say this, that "they" can only be the best person to me if I give up my individuality, my voice, my preference, the person that I am, that makes me ME,
so that "they" can be the best person to me, is appalling.   How can someone ask anyone to give up their opinions and voice, and what kind of person does that make them?

I hope that you would never have to hear those words from anyone, not even from a stranger.  What that sentence implies is if you just agree with me w/out any opinions or questions or even a fair legitimate discussions,  then we would have the best relationship.  It is a very one-sided perspective, that doesn't include or consider any other perspective then their own.  It is coming from a person that doesn't respect your boundaries.

I can understand (I do not agree with it but I can understand) being in a situation where someone might feel that they are 100% right and have limited tolerance for any discussion, but what I don't understand is imposing that on other people regardless of whether or not you need their support.  If you have limited tolerance for a discussion than fine, just don't impose your ideas and keep them to yourself.   For healthy process, we need to have an open mind for an open discussion.  A person is unable to do this when Pride and Ego enters the discussion.  When people get too proud to consider others opinions and have too much ego to admit or even visit the possibility that they may be wrong.  

A key ingredient in any successful relationship is Humility.  To be humble, my friends, is a great feat and more precious a gift you could give to your loved ones.   Humility is to be selfless, it is not to demand your own way and gain superiority over your companions.  To be humble is to value peace greater over everything else.  When a person is humble, they are willing to have faith, understanding and kindness in their relationship, they are willing to respect people's boundaries and are willing to compromise to come to a happy agreement.  They are willing to let go of their "my way or the highway" attitude.  They value their relationship over any personal agenda.   A great relationship is built on appreciating similarities and respecting the differences.  

“If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote control”

This entry is a bit grim but much needed and solely based on my perspective as a woman raised in liberal society w/ modern upbringing.   We, women, live in such patriarchal societies, that knowingly or unknowingly our decisions and life choices start revolving and molding to these societal standards.   I would love to think we are all equal and the opportunities and lifestyles presented to us by our society is equal regardless of age, sex, or gender, however, sadly that is not the case in majority.  Expectations of a successful life by majority of our society for women and men are vastly different. These differences are amplified 10-fold in traditional, conservative families.  

Why is it that these ‘patriarchal societies’ and we all know one of these peoples (don’t deny it) eventually find the need to control women’s lives?  Politically and apolitically.  Why is a wife expected to support her husband’s needs, against her own self-interests but the same expectation is not expected from a husband.  Can we for once, expect majority of husbands to support their wives wishes? or if there is a conflict then atleast try to understand them, with their spouse's wishes and desires in mind.   And why is it that when women stand up for injustice against themselves or their sex as whole, they are rewarded with so many frowns, disapproval and push-back?  Why it is an issue or even a point of discussion when a Man asks for a diaper changing station in Men’s restroom, and it is naturally expected to have them installed in Women’s restrooms?  Why is that many states tax women for tampons but not for bandages?  Do you see where I am going with this? I'm just stuck w/ so many "whys?"

Is it just me, or does it seem like us women are always getting the shorter end of the stick?

How hard did woman fight to gain access to basic needs such as voting, owning a property or getting access to contraceptive, and the battle still continues for other necessities.  As you can see it's hard not to notice the differences that still exist today in 2017.  oh and I haven't even mentioned the day to day expectations that woman strive to achieve, compromise on, adjust and battles when they are married into so called "traditional" conservative families. 

What I do hope is that we keep on fighting for justice, for what is right and fair, address these issues at home, and hopefully one day we can start seeing the change.  Women should not feel obligated to or should not have to ask permission to do what they want to do with their life.  And Men, treat your woman right, fairly and considerately, do not get disappointed or controlling when they have a difference of opinion, understand them, if the demands are fair, support them.    Understand their perspective, collaborate with them and treat them as your equal.  You need their support, then ask for it, do not demand it, and expect to give the same in return.